


Hard To Say I'm Sorry

by Claretgirl16



Category: Coronation Street
Genre: F/F, saula - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-08-29 10:08:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16741999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claretgirl16/pseuds/Claretgirl16
Summary: Thanks to a lovely person on social media giving me the suggestion of writing some Saula, I came up with this little one shot.I've never written the pairing before, but I enjoy them on Coronation Street (especially Paula) so thought I'd have a go to see what I could do in terms of writing them.This one shot I'm setting after they've had the heated exchange of words that they had in the Rovers on Friday night (the second episode).I hope you enjoy reading and I look forward to seeing what you all think of it!





	1. Chapter 1

A marathon.  
A never ending marathon.  
That's what the past few weeks, inching into months had been.  
Here, there and everywhere.  
Travelling miles.  
Endless late nights turning into early hours of the morning.  
And then the next day it started all over again.  
Feeling like wading through treacle on some days due to the lack of progress.  
Or you feel like there's a chink of light and it ends up being snuffed out.  
Unhelpful family, friends, colleagues, anyone close to the family and case.

 

And then a bombshell somewhat close to home, too close.  
Sophie.  
The idea of getting Sally sent to hospital.  
Just.  
Ludicrous.  
Then the exchange in the Rovers.  
It'd been coming.  
Like a fuse being lit on a stick of dynamite.

 

Ever since the young woman had revealed what she'd done in agreement with Sally, it had been coming.  
It was almost like a thread had been pulled on a wool garment, and every second it had unravelled that bit more, until it'd capitulated in the blow up in the pub.  
Tempers fraying.  
Heated words exchanged.

 

It'd been too much for the lawyer after everything that'd happened that day, especially after she'd thought she'd made up some ground in terms of the trial, the evidence on Duncan, and other things behind the scenes as it were that were all coming together to add even more substance to Sally's case, with the end result of her friend being freed and able to walk out of that court. 

 

But then the bombshell.  
Sophie's bombshell.  
And then the outburst in the pub.  
Her younger girlfriend shouting about her caring about Sally.  
That was the pinnacle.  
The straw that broke the camels' back.  
It'd led to her walking out of the pub, or storming might have been more apt a word.

 

Not being aware of anyone following her.  
Not since her head was fizzing with anger, frustration, exhaustion, all of the above and a few more things.  
But she could hear footsteps, the noise making her half turn to see whose they were.  
Sophie's.  
Oh for fucks sake no.  
Not again.  
Not more hassle.  
Seconds out round three.

 

"Now what do you want?!" Paula spat, weren't things bad enough.  
"You're just walking out, that's it? What about the case, my mum?!" Sophie gave back, her head obviously not registering what her mouth was saying in that exact moment.  
That did it.  
That statement, like the older woman had been doing nothing the past however long it was.  
"Walking out?! Are you joking, I've walked out because I can't deal or take anymore from any of you today, I thought things were bad with what's happened with this case, but then we were gaining some ground but then today, after your little bit of 'news' well, that's really thrown us back into the dirt again, not to mention got me wrapped up in all kinds of shit in terms of my career, that's deception, deception on my watch, on my case, possibly heading for my name, my name as a lawyer, do you understand what that means, do you have any idea?!" her brow furrowing, brown eyes blazing with emotion, a light glaze of tears started to cloud over them, her patience, resolve and cool had well and truly been pushed to its limit and this was the cracking point for the older woman today.

 

Surprise.  
That was one word for the expression across Sophie's face at Paula's words, not used to seeing the usually, cool, calm and collected lawyer like this, seeing the older woman at her limit seemed to stun her into silence, team this with the fact that what she was being told was true, they were facts that she didn't really have a comeback for, nothing to counteract them with, to argue her corner with.

 

"B...But...".  
"No Sophie, no buts, there are no if, buts or maybe's not anymore. We've been there, done those, we're past that point now, it's done..." pausing before continuing to speak, her eyes locked with those of the young woman stood not 3 feet away from her on the pavement, outside the Rovers, being illuminated by the street lights. "Just like we are, I thought I could do this, but I can't, I can't juggle both of these things, especially not when it feels like I'm fighting a battle with you, in terms of trying to keep the trial above water and it feeling like things keep going wrong between us, it's like you can't help yourself in jumping into do things before thinking of the dire consequences they hold, it's as though you're on a one woman mission against me, like you don't take me into consideration in all of this and what your actions do and the damage they can cause, especially the position I'm in and what it could mean for the trial, not just me. I'm tired and can't do this anymore....we can't see each other anymore" a light swallow from the lawyer as she delivered the final four words like a fatal shot from a gun, her eyes taking one final look at the young woman, and then turning on her heels and making her way across the street and around the corner to her car, fully disappearing from Sophie's sight, leaving the other woman stood like a statue, frozen to the spot.


	2. Chapter 2

Slam.  
Bang.  
Another bang.

 

These were the noises made by the lawyer walking into her house, slamming the front door, dropping her handbag and files on the floor, kicking her shoes off and then striding down the hallway and into the kitchen, into the fridge pulling out the bottle of wine, a wine glass from beside the sink and then pouring a large glass, before easily draining it and pouring another one, the pouring of the second slightly hampered by the fact her vision had become clouded by the tears welling in her eyes, the emotion sticking in her throat, not being washed away by the gulps of alcohol.

 

With the second glass in hand and the bottle clutched in the other, she headed out of the kitchen and into the living room, and over to the rather large sofa with the pine coffee table in front of it, putting said bottle on the table and perching on the end of the sofa, another gulp of wine and then another, with a final gulp the second glass was finished.

 

Isn't wine meant to help more than this.  
It's meant to do a better job at soothing things.  
At numbing them slightly.  
All this seemed to be doing was making them worse.  
Stinging the emotions.  
Riling them.  
Inflaming them somewhat.

 

Eyes flicking from left to right, eyeing the black TV screen that was yet to be switched on, she swiped the tears that had escaped down her cheeks, her mind whirring with the last hour of her life.

 

The chaos of the trial.  
Phone call in the Rovers.  
Then ending it with Sophie.

 

"What the fuck else was I meant to do, what she'd done, the jeopardy of the trial, the naivety, the disregard for me, I just....I just..." her voice shaking as her head went into her hands, fingers through her hair, closing her eyes to the sting of hurt and upset that was currently rushing through her.

 

A lot of it was just that.  
Hurt.  
Anger.  
Upset.  
Pain.

 

If Sophie had just thought that bit more about what she was doing, the consequences it'd have, if she'd just come to see the lawyer first, then maybe Paula could've put a stop to the bonkers idea she had, but Sophie hadn't, she'd totally bypassed all this, gone straight for the phone call, the idea, and now these were the consequences, ones that landed the lawyer firmly in the mire, the one having another problem to add to the list as long as her arm as far as the trial goes, not to mention what seemed like a total disregard for Paula, for her job, just for her in general, just like at Speed Daal, the younger woman had seemed to made an assumption there, not taking the time to think about discussing things with Paula or asking any questions, it was almost like she didn't trust the lawyer, didn't trust her on a basic level and this really stung the older woman, she thought that her younger ex girlfriend could and did trust her, is it actually true that she didn't, that after the short time of them being together and having such a nice thing between them, something Paula had thought so special, that Sophie thought that little of her that she had that little level of trust.

 

With this thought swimming at the forefront of her conscience, Paula lifted her head from her hands, sniffing softly as she did so, once again eyeing the empty wine glass on the table and the bottle next to it, half the contents gone, the liquid inside sitting just above the paper label that wrapped around said bottle, reaching out to pick up the glass, the remnants of tears that'd been on her hand, caused the empty wine glass to slip and go sailing onto the rug under the coffee table.

 

Now usually this wouldn't have been a problem at all, but given the current circumstances, it was like someone delivering yet another crushing blow to the lawyer, that crushing that it made her face crumble and crease, her face dissolving into more soft sobs, ones that she tried to stifle by putting her hand to her mouth, although no one was there to hear her cries, her body moving from the edge of the sofa and slipping onto the floor, her back now resting against the edge of the sofa cushions as she doubled over and started to sob that bit more, these soft sobs slowly dissolving into hearty sobs, the emotions of the day and those that'd been building over the past few weeks events in her life, bursting forth and finally escaping the prison she'd kept them held in within herself.

 

Sitting there, alone on the floor of the darkened living room, the only light being a soft glow from a table lamp over the other side of the room, the brunette completely fell to pieces, tears running down her cheeks as she stayed sat on the floor, inconsolable.


End file.
